I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
