im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
