He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
