Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
