when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
