I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
