just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
