well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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