i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
