normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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