when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
