ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
