You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
