I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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