You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
