And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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