I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
