Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She bit a glass in half.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
