My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
