Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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