in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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