did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize