He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize