I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
