I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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