no. you can't hotbox the world.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
