I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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