Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
