She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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