I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
