I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What drink are we having for lunch?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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