i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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