i would punch a child for taco bell
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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