i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i black out too much to be "responsible"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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