4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
