the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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