I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
