the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
