does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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