3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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