A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just gargled with NyQuil
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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