I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
