if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize