Can Purell be used as lube?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're too hungover to prance.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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