had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize