Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
