period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
