I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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