and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
