Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Say something about gay babies.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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