singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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