Soap is not a condiment
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
