I feel great
I just peed on a car
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
