am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
