Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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