Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
