I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just invented taco cereal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
