Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
