If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
