Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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